Spy on a Cheating Spouse, How to Spy, and Best Spy Software

Have other husbands recovering from infidelity felt this way?

My wife and I are recovering from her infidelity. She wants to remain married and reconcile and we are currently in counseling. We have discussed quite a few things about her affair and also our marriage both by ourselves and with our counselor. One thing I have had trouble with recently has been my feelings about the other man. Though I feel I have forgiven my wife and never stopped loving her, in some ways I am becoming more angry toward the man she was with on those nights. I also feel that in a way he has taken something from me that I can never recover, and that he has become superior to me in some way that I could never undo. Now and then I see him in town and feel even worse on those days. Has anyone dealt with this problem? Does such a feeling go away or will I always carry it with me? How do I overcome this?

This is one of the most difficult aspects of my own recovery. My wife had become involved with a manager at her employer after we had marital difficulties stemming from my neglect of our relationship. She initially leaned on him for emotional support but he was able to make the relationship a sexual one over time. Marital counseling was important for us as well but revealed aspects of her affair that filled me with genuine fury toward this man. Brief interactions became unnecessary work trips during which she would spend days doing his job at conferences and meetings while he remained in the hotel watching adult films. When she returned to the hotel in the evenings he would have her reenact his favorite parts of those movies with him until late in the night. She would often return home exhausted from these trips and this put a further strain on our marriage.

Finding this out and discovering her complicity in his actions while I remained at home with our first child made me angry in a way that I had never been before and I occasionally still feel that way today. To my everlasting shame I never guessed at what was happening until she told me she was carrying his child (he often refused to use protection with her). Your feelings are valid and common so do not question yourself. I too have forgiven my wife and admit I continue to feel anger and resentment toward her boss like you have mentioned.

Seeing such men does make it worse and I encourage you to avoid contact if possible. I still remember going with my wife to clean out her cubicle on her last day and this “man” supervising her and giving her instructions as we carried her boxes to the car. I feel that he only wanted to show me that he still had control over her in some way despite the time that had passed. Do not question your emotions but know that they will last for a good amount of time as I have discovered. I wish you luck in your recovery and hope that you are finding healing as needed.

Drive Home Chat – Advice on having an Affair