Hurt By Infidelity
Your Emotions are Running High When Dealing With Infidelity
When you learned your partner was cheating on you, the emotions were probably overwhelming. There was a sense of loss, lots of anger, and sadness beyond comprehension. You probably went from one emotion to the other. The intensity of the feeling, whatever it was at the time, was enormous.
When you’re dealing with infidelity, your emotions run wild. You will deal with so many at once, some of them conflicting. You might even wonder if you’re going crazy.
What are some of the emotions you will feel when you deal with a cheating partner?
You will feel a sense of betrayal. As well you should! You have been betrayed. Your partner has taken something very special and thrown it away on a cheap thrill. Who wouldn’t feel betrayed by that?
You will deal with anger. It can be a simmering anger or an explosive fury. This is the emotion that will make you say or do things you might regret later.
Speaking of that, the need for revenge grows out of that anger. They hurt you, and now you want to hurt them! They deserve to feel this kind of pain! You will have fantasies of what you could do to your partner – or to their lover – that would leave them as a crying, emotional mess.
You will be frustrated with the situation, and wish you could find an easy way out. Nobody can blame you for that. Who wants to deal with the devastation your partner has brought down on your life?
You will feel scared, and maybe you don’t understand why. There are many factors that go into this, but it all boils down to one: The question of your future. What happens now? Where do you go from here?
You will be wrestle with disappointment, too. You trusted your partner, and now they have done this to you? How could they do something so terrible?
You will be suspicious of everything. Absolutely everything! You will wonder what was true and what wasn’t. You will watch your partner like a hawk and question all their actions.
Amazingly enough, you might also feel guilty. You were the one who was wronged, but you feel responsible! Much of that might come from what your partner says when you confront them. Your partner has justified their infidelity by saying it was somehow your fault, and you might feel that way, too.
Don’t fall into the guilt trap! They did this, not you. It’s on THEIR shoulders!
Remember that you are dealing with a huge problem, so emotional upheaval is normal. What can you do to combat the terrible feelings that infidelity has brought into your life?
About the Author
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Tobit Harvey Show-”Love Isn’t Supposed To Hurt…When Infidelity Repeats & Its Tolerance Enables!”
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May 15th, 2010 at 4:33 pm
Cheating is cheating, there is no need to balance one against the other. Both are a violation of trust and the sacred vows of marriage (if you both are married that is). Even if you aren’t married, you made a committment to each other, and he violated that committment.
May 17th, 2010 at 2:34 am
i thought something was going on, so i bugged my house and found out the hard way. i dont recomend doing it that way. it hurts so very badly. my reaction was very extreme and way over board. things ;ile this are allways hard. there really is no right way to approach this. good luck
October 26th, 2010 at 4:46 pm
well, ultimately you cant GET AWAY from him…The bottom line is you and him are married with two kids…the best way to handle this is on a stirct friendly manner. When he gets here, forget the hassle of not allowing him to see the kids…the kids have nothing to do woth what you and him are going through…instead kill him with kindness…Tell him to come get the girls and let him know what time you want them back, DOnt argue, dont fught and dont bicker, all that will do os make matters worse…At this point, you need to show him that you aint bout nothing but yo kids…and you could careless about some girl in afghanistan… Speak to him about nothing but the kids..when he calls make the convo strictly about the kids, as that is the ony thing you have in common at this point…As for the marriage, you mentioned something about him choosing…Its not up to him to choose, please dont sit around and wait for him to choose you or her… He was in the worng so why is the choice his…You need to fugure out what you want to do…THE CHOICE ISNT HIS TO MAKE…Continue to le let him see his girls, there innocent, you can eaisly move on a find another man, they will never find another father.,,Just think about my advice
December 11th, 2010 at 3:14 pm
I’d file for divorce, start looking for a job even if it’s just as a cashier for now but it will help you get on your feet. He will have to pay child support and help with the childs expenses ie: daycare, medical, etc. As far as the car goes, let him take the battery out, get a spare one and hide it. Make and/or buy a copy of the car key. My friend just went through this and the cops explained to her that since it’s in both of their names they both own it. The cops told her they’ll have to play the game until court and the judge awards who gets to keep the car. She was able to get a restraining order because of him throwing his verbal fits and taking the phone and etc… It seems drastic but if you want him gone this will be the only way to do it. Get the cops involved this way you have proof in court as well. Stay strong, men like him pray on your weakness…. Good luck…