Is Infidelity Normal
Thursday, July 8th, 2010
Save Your Marriage Infidelity Doesn’t Have To Mean The End
Infidelity is one of the things that can really tear a marriage apart. The betrayal of everything a marriage stands for can be devastating for the parties involved. I personally think infidelity is one of the biggest reasons why marriages fall apart! A marriage is supposed to be a bond for life, a union between two people that should not be broken.
The fact that one of the partners get involved in a physical relationship outside the marriage is normally a symptom and not a reason. The “mental” infidelity normally starts long before that. Very often infidelity is emotional. One of the partners in the marriage starts to share a life with someone outside the marriage, even if there is nothing physical about it
This Emotional Infidelity had really become a problem in the last few decades. iAt is a serious problem and can really tear apart a marriage. Very often the reason is the workplace. In modern times the workplace has become increasingly mixed. People spend long hours working together and there is a mental “bond.” Without anyone noticing it, the work relationship can start changing and become more than it should be.
Communication on the sly has also become very easy. It is easy to send an e-mail or to text someone unnoticed. This is a way to communicate and bond and even though this is not the reason, it makes it easier.
Physical infidelity has also become easier. It is not unusual to spend long hours at work. Overtime has become an everyday thing. This, of course, makes it very easy. Extra work is an easy excuse for extra time spent away from the house making physical infidelity very easy.
What you have to keep in mind though is, infidelity is a choice. Many things can be the excuses and opportunities, but the infidelity is a choice. These excuses will not save the marriage. Making changes in the situations that are used as an excuse will also not be a solution to the problem.
This, of course, does not mean that you cannot overcome cheating in a marriage. On the contrary, with a will it can be done. Infidelity is a big problem but not an insurmountable one.
As with all relationships, your first step is to find out what went wrong. Where did the marriage falter, what were the reasons, what were going on in the marriage at the time? These are the things that will give you the clue to how to fix the problem. Remember, infidelity is a symptom and not a cause! Whatever it is that is broken in the marriage needs to be fixed.
Blaming the other person will not serve any purpose. If something went wrong in the marriage it is not only one person’s fault. There are always two sides to it. It is true that your partner cheated on you, and it hurts, but if you want to save your marriage you will have to get over it and fix the problem.
It is true that the cheating was not your fault. You probably were not even aware of the factors making the other party unhappy. This is why you now have to communicate. Find out what went wrong. Fix it.
Of course it is not really that simple, you have to learn to trust again and it has to be repaired. That will take time, so do not expect it to happen overnight. If you work at it though, and if you keep in mind why it happened in the first place, you should be able to regain the trust.
By following these steps, you will be able to save your marriage, infidelity does not have to mean the end. With hard work you will get it all back again and it is worth the trouble.
About the Author
Save your Marriage Infidelity does not have to mean the end. Have a look at Can My Wife Love Me Again? You can also get good help when you have a look at: The Making Up System
The Decalogue, episode IX: the Surgeon