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Divorce from assumed infidelity?

I’ve been married for a few years, Been with my wife for over 10 as a couple. She found e-mails and evidence of porn and some kinky stuff I even find gross and don’t know why I did it. It never went further than the e-mails and she doesn’t believe me, and has every right not to. We’re now seperated. We have a young child. I’m very depressed and don’t know what to do. I want to works things out, she doesn’t. We’ve never been to a marriage counselor, but feel this would be the best opportunity.

I am going through this right now. I found things that suggest my husband has been unfaithful. It’s the hardest thing ever to imagine the what-ifs. Because i dont have hard proof, i decided against a separation or divorce, cuz, god, what if i’m wrong? I believe that the emails and the porn are not that big of deal, upsetting, yes, and definately a behavior i would try to stop. SHes hurt mostly because she discovered a side to you she didnt know existed and it altered the trust level. Now shes being tortured with the unknown. Wondering if you did what she thinks you did, wondering if you’re teling the truth. and i can guarentee you, it’s killng her inside. If you’re innocent, i really feel for you, and i also feel for your wife. i know exactly how she is feeling right now. I suggest marriage counseling ASAP. If she would like to talk to someone who knows what its like and someon who was able to look past it and forgive, you can put her in touch with me. I know what its like to assume your husband has been unfaithful, but because it was only an assumption, with no confesion or hard proof, i had to give my hubby the benifit of the doubt, but this will be the last time he gets that. Since it was the first time, i was not willig to throw away 10 years on an assumption. If i would have had indefinate proof, that would have been an entirely different story. Good luck.

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